Uncle Tom & the Twins – Their Quest for Honesty
This is the companion piece to ‘Manopause & Manstruation’ and is, basically, a skit on how ‘health’ sites view erectile dysfunction – wankers!
Eggy Road
This is not right! I expected an antiseptis smell, walking past beds with twitching nutters in them, angrily covered in piss, shit and vomit with beeping beeps blaring out incessantly.
Manopause & Manstruation
‘Dear Dr. Lin Nu How, I really don’t know whether you are an agony aunt or a philosopher walking gently on rice paper within the soft steps of Sun Bu Er. Anyway...
Excerpts from ‘Archie’
‘WHAT A STRANGE, demented feeling it gives me when I realise I have spent whole days before this inkstone, with nothing better to do, jotting down at random whatever nonsensical thoughts have entered my head.’
(Kenko)
Dao Bog Gods, Fu Kai Wen & the Seven Gardens of Gethsemane
As well as being a philosophy, Daoism is also a very peculiar religion with at least one hundred gods surrounding the humble toilet......
Lugaid Cichech
Pitching black with the to and fro roll of it, the trawler nears the coast. A lick of paint in Copenhagen, a change of name to boot. The stacking of long boxes neck-high in the saloon. Stranding room only - then the dodging journey. 'Luk der itiiz!' The problematical flicker and a splash of oars. 'Jeezus wept…
Draped Nude Twat Tits
‘Draped Nude’ (originally entitled ‘Femme nue drapée’), is an oil on canvas measuring 45.7cm x 37.5 and is thought to have been created during the spring of 1936 when Matisse was resident in Nice. The piece was purchased from the artist by Paul Rosenburg who was an influential Paris art dealer with sole rights to represent Pablo…
Gag Boy
Age five was his first introduction to fight or flee adrenalin rush disabled from release. His first memory. He took me. How dat bastard dad fucker even new were the f’ing skool waz, I dunno. Nobody didn’t even no ’e ’ad no lingos! When his ‘windy’ closed (he has affection for it now), his older sister could…
Moonscapes of Sarakiniko
Milos is an f’ing shit tip!!!! Hey J! On a Blue Star having a rant. Despite their reputation, I’ve always loved that ‘roll on’ ‘roll off’ fear – was it really you who told me about the sinking before we sold them to the Med? Anyway, the ferries are faves for me. Landings are disappointments. When you…